So its time to be honest with you all. Mixed in with the excitement of going to Rwanda (in 3 weeks!) there is also fear. I guess its easy to get caught up in the excitement and forget to be realistic about things. I am well aware that this may be extremely difficult and I might not find it easy. But I don’t want that to put me off, sometimes the best things in life are the hardest. I am so grateful for this opportunity, I know God would not let me do this if he didn’t think I was capable of doing it (with his help of course). Sometimes in life we must all take a leap of faith. I feel like this is mine. I am going somewhere in the knowledge that when I come back I will not be the same. I am so excited about growing in Christ and in myself, its going to be life changing.
I only hope I can be of some help. As someone who is well aware of my faults I have some doubt that I will be able to help in the way I really want to. I know I shouldn’t dwell on the negative but it does get hard to completely ignore it. I guess sometimes I forget to look how far I have come. I am no longer the shy, insecure, sad girl I used to be. In fact I think I am quite strong now, as close to God as I have ever been and much more confident. It is a miracle which is all thanks to God. The fact is that within this self doubt I know in my heart that I am truly ready for this. I have to do Gods will, even if it means I might be scared of doing it.
I am sure lots of people face the same situation (probably worse) every day and I want you to know a few things.You are an amazing individual, you are kind, you are smart, you are important (I love “The Help”). Yes you may have many faults but they are not your identity. You are capable of more things than you know and are braver than you think. Step out of the boat, it is scary but it is so worth it.
Lots of love and God bless
Isaiah 41: 8-10
8 “But you, Israel, my servant,
Jacob, whom I have chosen,
you descendants of Abraham my friend,
9 I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, ‘You are my servant’;
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.