We are in week six now! Where has all the time gone? It is the sort of time where I am constantly trying to enjoy every moment and desperately holding onto the little time we have left. I can’t say I always enjoy every moment. Take today for example. A migraine came out of nowhere and was my first obstacle in enjoying every moment. Its pretty hard to enjoy the feeling of repeatedly being stabbed in the head with limited vision…I suppose we must be realistic in how we enjoy our experiences. Just because you go somewhere totally different does not mean you will instantly be positive all the time, you don’t just become a different person. It is a process, and there are plenty of challenges along the way.
But I think this experience has been better because of the challenges. It feels like I have had a year of personal growth in the last 6 weeks. I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22, and I have seen and done things I never thought I would do. No matter where you are in life, challenges will always be there. I have found that the way you react to those challenges reveals a lot about your character. I tend to hesitate and doubt myself. Sometimes I am terrified to even take a step. But then I pull myself together, give myself a little pep talk and take that step anyway. I might be trembling as I do it but the most important thing is that I challenge myself. I might also complain a lot, but we all need to change.
The truth is life is too short to waste our opportunities, even though I find myself doing this frequently! Its like we can see the sand running low but we just go about our everyday business anyway. Even if its not what we want to do, I find that we tend to get a bit too comfortable if we have a bog standard job that we don’t actually like. Its easier to stay in that place because moving would mean change, pain and difficulties! Most of all it means..God forbid…taking a risk! I’m glad I took this risk. Its been no picnic but I have so many memories I will treasure forever. Perhaps we need to find the gold among the dirt. I suppose that’s what makes the gold so valuable.
Last week we ran a lot of holiday camps, it was truly wonderful, if a bit challenging. I do not like public speaking in any way but I felt that I needed to face my fear. We all taught different lessons, like sexual health, HIV/AIDS and sanitation and hygiene. I led a session on setting personal and future goals. It was weirdly not as bad as I thought it would be. I did have a bit of a cry/panic afterwards but it was only small. The next time I did it I found it easier. I suppose practice really does help. I am not going to say that I am amazing at public speaking now, but I have something to build on which is a miracle for me. I thank God for giving me the strength, without him I would not have been able to do it.
Today we went to Peters school to teach English. Despite the migraine I thoroughly enjoyed it. There was a fantastic moment where it started to rain heavily and we were unable to teach anymore. So the students got a drum and started to dance. It was amazing, I felt so much joy in that moment. Weirdly it was one of my biggest highlights! I suppose its good appreciate everything, even if it seems small to other people. It reminded me of this quote: “Until God opens the next door praise him in the hallway”. Its easy to get caught up in your issues, but to praise God regardless of your situation, that is conquering life. That is truly embracing life’s ups and downs, I am not there yet but I will get there.
Murakose ( thank you) for reading!
Much Love and Gods blessings